The last time I fully cleaned out my car was during my Christmas break in 2006. Of course that meant that this year I had to do the same since I actually have time off. It was partially frightening and partially enlightening (since I got my iPod hooked up with all the cables neatly hidden away).
Anyways, this is just a friendly reminder to take this holiday break and do some productive things besides gain weight. If you had to work this week after Christmas, what’s wrong with you? Call in sick next time.
Now that the mayhem has subsided for another 11 months, it’s time to sit back, relax, get fat on leftovers and play with new toys. I got a pretty sweet Canon Digital SLR camera with a case and memory card, a bunch of HD DVDs, a couple of video games, some clothes, etc. I’m curious though, what did everyone else get? More importantly, what are you returning? Any Christmas horror stories to share? Let us know in the comments.
P.S. - It’s a good thing Christmas is over. I was running out of pictures of hot girls with Santa hats on..
So obviously it’s just about Christmas time. For those of you who don’t celebrate Christmas, it’s kind of like a birthday but not quite as cool because you have to give presents too. As such, we’ll probably be a little out of touch until the mayhem settles down. Fear not though, dear reader. We’ll keep you updated with all the awesome crap we receive as gifts, and if we’re lucky, we might get some stuff worth reviewing.
Merry Christmas…or whatever you celebrate…from us here at Average Dudes.
It’s the holiday season. The time to give and be thankful, but what about those needy children in other parts of world. Watch this video and try to tell me it didn’t melt your heart.
Just in case you work at the Santa station at the mall, here are a few handy tips to make it through the holidays!
1. Get at least eight hours of sleep before coming to work.
2. If you really must nap, try to do so in a “staff only” section of the mall.
3. Please don’t sleep on Santa’s couch if you can’t find a secluded area.
4. On the off chance that you decide to sleep on Santa’s couch, please make sure your thong isn’t visible.
5. At least, make sure people don’t have a clear shot of your ass with their camera phones.
6. Finally, please don’t sully the innocence of youth any more than you just did.
I used to love getting my picture taken with Santa Claus. I’ve got a photo album somewhere of me as a little kid sitting in his lap, year after year. This is kind of weird though. What if stuff like this was happening when I was a kid? I never really realized how close my youth and innocence was to some ugly chick’s half-bare ass. This is kind of like remembering a time that you ate a snow cone, only to start wondering if someone might have peed in it before you ate it.
First and foremost, Merry Chrismahaunakwanza to all of our readers! That’s right, just to our readers. Everybody else can go f@&# themselves.
We realize that Christmas is less than a week away, so you might think that this article is slightly late. However, the Average Dude never goes shopping until about three days before, so you’ve got plenty of time to pick out gifts for the ones you love. Don’t have any ideas what to buy? That’s why we’re presenting you with this handy guide to help a brother out! It might be the thought that counts, but it’s the gift that’s kept. (more…)
Those crazy bastards down-under are at it again. A department store Santa said on Wednesday that he was fired for saying “ho ho ho” and singing Christmas songs to children. The guy is 70 years old and sang Jingle Bells and he got fired. Of course, the firm responsible for the firing says he was let go for his attitude, not the ho’s, so who knows….for sho….
My prediction about the frightening future of Father Christmas is rapidly becoming true. U.S. Surgeon General Rear Adm. Steven K. Galson (try saying that 5 times fast) said in an interview:
“It is really important that the people who kids look up to as role models are in good shape, eating well and getting exercise. It is absolutely critical.”
Nothing says “Ho Ho Ho” (or “Ha Ha Ha” if you live in Australia) like a festive USB-powered Christmas tree. For only $12.99 you can tell your whole office that being chained to your desk doesn’t mean you can’t still enjoy the Holidays. Now get back to work.
Now that the mayhem has subsided for another 11 months, it’s time to sit back, relax, get fat on leftovers and play with new toys. I got a pretty sweet Canon Digital SLR camera with a case and memory card, a bunch of HD DVDs, a couple of video games, some clothes, etc. I’m curious though, what did everyone else get? More importantly, what are you returning? Any Christmas horror stories to share? Let us know in the comments.
So obviously it’s just about Christmas time. For those of you who don’t celebrate Christmas, it’s kind of like a birthday but not quite as cool because you have to give presents too. As such, we’ll probably be a little out of touch until the mayhem settles down. Fear not though, dear reader. We’ll keep you updated with all the awesome crap we receive as gifts, and if we’re lucky, we might get some stuff worth reviewing.
First and foremost, Merry Chrismahaunakwanza to all of our readers! That’s right, just to our readers. Everybody else can go f@&# themselves.
Nothing says “Ho Ho Ho” (or “Ha Ha Ha” if you live in