We’ve all done it.  We’ve all gotten completely wasted and hungry and drove to the nearest ‘Taco Smell’, I mean ‘Taco Hell’, I mean Taco Bell.  It always sound like a great idea at the time.  You’ve usually got the girl you’re trying to bang passed out in the back and your best buddy in the front ordering the left side of the menu. Now when you wake up and realize that the girl of your dreams from last night is this mornings drunken mistake just head on down to Taco Bell and order a tasty ContraceptiMelt!  Read this week’s press release:

Taco Bell launched its controversial “morning after” burrito, a zesty, Mexican-style entree that prevents unwanted pregnancies if ingested within 36 hours following intercourse.

Developed by a team of top Taco Bell gynecologists, the $1.99 “ContraceptiMelt” burrito creates an inhospitable environment within the womb, causing fertilized ovum tissue to be flushed from the body.

Also available are ContraceptiMelt Supremes, featuring sour cream and extra cheese.

Taco Bell officials are excited about the offering. “In the past, before Roe v. Wade, young women literally had to ‘make a run for the border’ to terminate an unwanted pregnancy,” Taco Bell public relations director Grant Lesko said. “But now, women can make that same run for the border at over 7,300 convenient locations right in their own hometowns.”

Possible side effects of the new birth-control snack item include weight gain, stomach upset and gas, the same as with all other Taco Bell products.

Thanks The Onion for breaking the good news to America about this wonderful morning snack!

[The Onion]