A Wisconsin man was sitting peacefully by himself in his apartment watching a really loud porno movie when suddenly his downstairs neighbor kicked open the door, put a three-foot sword to his face and yelled, “Where is she?!” Apparently the neighbor thought that a girl was being raped and he forced the dude at sword-point to open all the rooms in his apartment to prove that it was only the TV.

While I commend the neighbor for trying to save a rape victim, I have two questions: What’s with the sword? And what the hell kind of porn is that guy watching that it sounds like rape? That’s just wrong. You can check out the local news report (which the reporters seem to find fairly humorous) at the source.

[BuzzFeed]

During my daily work travels, I needed to head on over to good ole iStockPhotos.com.  I was surprised to see this image waiting for me.  This is hands down one of the most creative and morbid 503 error pages I’ve ever come across.  I’m not sure what type of sick twisted humor they have over there but I like it.  Good work iStock people.  I’ll continue to purchase your resonably priced photos.

Nothing beats a fun college football Saturday, right? Well maybe if you can convince your girlfriend of a little action while watching. Go Miners!

We’ve all done it.  We’ve all gotten completely wasted and hungry and drove to the nearest ‘Taco Smell’, I mean ‘Taco Hell’, I mean Taco Bell.  It always sound like a great idea at the time.  You’ve usually got the girl you’re trying to bang passed out in the back and your best buddy in the front ordering the left side of the menu. Now when you wake up and realize that the girl of your dreams from last night is this mornings drunken mistake just head on down to Taco Bell and order a tasty ContraceptiMelt!  Read this week’s press release: (more…)

This video, a clip from the upcoming horror movie On the Doll, has been making its way across the internet, scaring the bejeezus out of dudes everywhere. I’ll admit, I was quite turned off to the movie after seeing this, but once I read the synopsis of the film, I feel like this scene might evoke a cheer from the audience rather than a sob. The clip has Prom Night star Brittany Snow literally busing some dude’s balls. You’ve been warned. Check out the video and the synopsis after the jump. (more…)

You probably see this cake and you chuckle. Hell, I chuckled. Now, put yourself in the shoes of the dude who received this cake on his birthday. He’s already bummed out about being another year older. Do you really have to rub it in by taking shots at his willy? Have a heart.

[Steven Humour]

No. Sorry…got a little April Fools bug in me. It’s not too far off though. The Hulkster was photographed with his date, Jennifer McDaniel, the other night. The frightening part is, Jennifer McDaniel bears a striking resemblance to Hulk’s own daughter, Brooke Hogan. They always say girls are attracted to guys who remind them of their fathers. I never knew it worked the other way.

[When You're Bored]

Our society has undergone a lot of changes in the past few decades. The nuclear family of the 50’s has been flipped inside out with women shifting from the kitchen to the workplace. Unfortunately for dudes, the opposite shift is also happening. Metrosexuality was only the beginning, my friends. Enter, the mirdle.

One of the joys of being a dude is the ability to let your belly grow to enormous proportions without worrying what anyone will think. That’s why this product raises a couple of interesting questions. If you’re afraid of what people will think of your gut, why aren’t you afraid of what the cashier at JCPenny will think when you go to purchase a man-girdle? Wouldn’t a reduction in beer-consumption be a healthier and less ridiculous method of losing inches? What if you pick up a chick in a bar? You can imagine the potential humiliation.

Then again, this thing could be seen as the essential piece of clothing for the ultimate dude. The dude that is so lazy and so enamored with beer that he’ll put his heterosexuality on the line in order to look slightly more attractive to the ladies. When you look at it that way, this thing doesn’t sound so bad. Maybe you can buy them online…

It baffles me when something like this not only makes it through the concept phase, but even goes into production and is sold. I mean, seriously. No one noticed anything weird about this? Does anyone need it pointed out? I didn’t think so. Shame.

[Flicker via Gizmodo]