During my daily work travels, I needed to head on over to good ole iStockPhotos.com.  I was surprised to see this image waiting for me.  This is hands down one of the most creative and morbid 503 error pages I’ve ever come across.  I’m not sure what type of sick twisted humor they have over there but I like it.  Good work iStock people.  I’ll continue to purchase your resonably priced photos.

Nothing beats the quality time you can spend with your loved ones.  It has been proven over time, that a dad and his daughter always build a special bond.  There are all of those special times that will happen over her life time.  The wearing of makeup, the first boys to come to the house, the prom dresses, the graduations, wedding day, and ……. breaking down and re-building “with function check” an AR-15 machine gun in only 53 seconds.  Whooo ha!

Patton Oswalt is a comedian.  A fairly funny one as well.  But apparently he gives really really good graduation speeches. I can’t think of any other man I’d want to mold the minds of today’s high school graduates.  Enjoy the read.  I did.

First off, I want to thank the teachers and faculty of Broad Run High School for first considering and then inviting me to speak here.   It was flattering, I am touched and humbled, and you have made a grave mistake.

I’m being paid for this, right?   Oh, wait, there’s some advice, right off the bat – always get paid.   If you make enough money in this world you can smoke pot all day and have people killed.

I’m sorry, that was irresponsible.

You shouldn’t have people killed. (more…)

I’m writing this post on the newly released iPhone wordpress application. Other than the annoying clicks of the iPhone keyboard, this is awesome. Consider this the Average Dudes’ seal of approval.

Paparazzi  are awful people.  These poor celebrities just try to enjoy their lives and they always get intruded at the worst times.  My heart really goes out to them.  Here’s a particular case where Jim Carrey and his lovely girl friend, Jenny McCarthy, are just trying to enjoy a relaxing stroll down the beach….in their tight black number.

The poor woman has become so enthralled with her babies that she can’t even tell the difference between a normal-sized car and a kiddie one. I really hope she’s not cruisin’ down the Sunset Strip in this thing. Wait, that would rule. Could you imagine her pulling up to a movie premiere in this bad boy? That would make for one hell of a disturbing up-skirt shot. And then she struts down the red carpet as the valet tries to figure out what the hell he’s supposed to do with it.

[BuzzFeed]

Nothing says happy birthday like a screen print and simulated cup of doo-doo from 2 Girls 1 Cup. This hands down might be one of the more creative cakes I’ve ever seen. I’m sure it was a very fun 5th birthday party.

In case you have no idea what 2 Girls 1 Cup and really want to know, click here. (EXTREMELY NSFW (*added by Scott: also extremely disgusting and not recommended for human eyes…you have been warned))

And for an added bonus, I have a Kermit the Frog reaction video after the jump. (also NSFW) (more…)

Want to help out a few average dudes? Then vote for us in the Orlando Weekly’s Best of Orlando 2008 feature! Follow this link and fill out the form. They’ll email you a password to put into the ballot. Make sure you check your junk mail just in case.

Once you’re at the ballot, fill in your email address and the password they gave you. Then start voting! Make sure you fill in “average-dudes.com” for best local blog and best local web site. You have to fill out at least 5 slots, so while you’re at it, fill in “megaphone” (that’s my band) for best Rock/Pop Act and Best Whatever. Megaphone won best rock/pop act last year, so help us keep our crown! You can also fill in “The Matador” (awesome bar in Orlando) for best local pub. If you’re from the Orlando area, vote for other stuff you love. DO IT!

[Orlando Weekly]

A woman vacationing in New Zealand got fed up after being repeatedly whistled at by some construction workers.

The Israeli tourist was about to use an ATM in the main street of Kerikeri, in the far north of the country, when the men whistled, the New Zealand Press Association reported.

She calmly stripped off, used the cash machine, before getting dressed and walking away.

See? You really can do anything you put your mind to.

[Yahoo! News]

Now I don’t really care about cars that much. I’ve often viewed them as a waste of money and plus we should really be using hover boards and floating crafts by now. So I was really shocked when I saw the price of this 1961 Ferrari. It was recently sold at an auction for .……$10,894,900. Now that is a lot of coin for one car. I can’t fathom spending that much on your dream car, seeing my dream car is a red convertible 1992 Chrysler LeBaron.

I really hope this guy’s son calls in sick to school one day and takes this thing out for a joy ride and then crashes it trying to roll the miles back.

In case you don’t remember the fine piece of auto-machinery that was the Chrysler LeBaron, take a look after the jump. (more…)