There’s a whole movement going on to increase the acceptance of male pantyhose as an acceptable clothing item. The official site can be found at e-MANcipate.net (clever).

Personally, I’m not going to rip on a dude if he wants to wear tights (as they’re called abroad). Hell, sometimes I wear daisy dukes when I mow the lawn…real tight ones too. Ok I made that up. But seriously, the only issue I find with all this is that they’re still calling them “pantyhose.” The word “panty” is considered to be unmentionable by many dudes. We don’t wear panties. At least not in public. If they expect to increase acceptance for this new trend, the least they could do is give them a manlier name like “nut-huggers” or something. “Get-You-Laid-Hose.” Anything is better than the P word.

[BuzzFeed]

Zazzle didn’t take down my vulgar shirt like I thought they did!

Back in the day, me and Dyna used to hang out at the mall like most kids our age. The only problem was, it was always just the two of us. All the time. Together. So Dyna wanted a t-shirt that would let everyone know that we didn’t swing that way.

Now, through the magic of the internet, we can all have that shirt. Tell the world that you and your closest dude friend are not an item. Punchline after the break. (more…)

You love the site, right? How much? Would you be willing to become a walking Average Dudes billboard? We’ve got some t-shirts on sale to help you show off your ultimate dudedom. Well, right now there’s only one shirt (apparently the other one I made was a little too vulgar…) but there will be more merchandise on the way!

Show your support, dude! Head over to our Zazzle store and pick up your own NADWDWHAGFSTV (National Association of Dudes Who Don’t Want to Hear About Gross Feminine Stuff on TV) shirt! You remember the NADWDWHAGFSTV*, right?

You can even get the shirt in a number of different styles and colors, including women and children styles…so you can buy like 15 of them! Score! Here’s what the back looks like.

[Zazzle]

*Note: The astute reader will notice that the association was formerly the NGDWDWHAGFSTV, or “National GROUP…” I just like the ring of Association better. And it says NAD now…

It takes a real man to grow a bitchin’ mustache. You need commitment and drive. I tried once. Got pretty far too. Then people started saying I looked like Nacho Libre so I decided it was time to give up and leave the ’stache-growing to those better suited.

Had I kept up with it though, this necklace mustache comb would have been at the top of my birthday list. Each one is hand cast from solid sterling silver so it’s expensive as shit at $120. But imagine sidling up next to a chick at a bar and whipping out your ’stache comb. It may just be worth the cost.

[Makool Loves You via OhGizmo!]

Here’s a scenario for you. You’re getting dressed to go out for a night on the town when suddenly you remember that the bar you’re going to is surrounded by ghetto and there’s an unusually high volume of crime in the area. You’ve got two options: 1. Pick a different bar that doesn’t come with a risk of being attacked, or 2. Put on your $200 mesh shirt that will protect you from those pesky muggers. Apparently there are people that would choose the latter.

This shirt is made of “ultrahigh molecular weight polyethylene fiber” that will withstand a stabbing. It’s also lightweight and machine washable. Yay!

I don’t think I have to tell you how silly this is. The shirts cost anywhere from $200 to $500 for short and long sleeve varieties. If you are regularly forced to walk through areas of town that are dangerous, you’ll either need to buy multiple ones, setting you back thousands of dollars, or do laundry every night. Seriously, if that’s your situation, then maybe you need a new house/routine/job/place to hang out.

[Engadget]

Our society has undergone a lot of changes in the past few decades. The nuclear family of the 50’s has been flipped inside out with women shifting from the kitchen to the workplace. Unfortunately for dudes, the opposite shift is also happening. Metrosexuality was only the beginning, my friends. Enter, the mirdle.

One of the joys of being a dude is the ability to let your belly grow to enormous proportions without worrying what anyone will think. That’s why this product raises a couple of interesting questions. If you’re afraid of what people will think of your gut, why aren’t you afraid of what the cashier at JCPenny will think when you go to purchase a man-girdle? Wouldn’t a reduction in beer-consumption be a healthier and less ridiculous method of losing inches? What if you pick up a chick in a bar? You can imagine the potential humiliation.

Then again, this thing could be seen as the essential piece of clothing for the ultimate dude. The dude that is so lazy and so enamored with beer that he’ll put his heterosexuality on the line in order to look slightly more attractive to the ladies. When you look at it that way, this thing doesn’t sound so bad. Maybe you can buy them online…

Sharen Turney, CEO of heaven Victoria’s Secret, has decided that their products and promotion are “too sexy” for the general public and wants to make a shift toward “a more sophisticated ‘ultra-feminine’” focus. They feel that the sexiness of their lingerie is hampering sales.

“I really feel so strongly about us getting back to our heritage and really thinking in terms of ultrafeminine and not just the word sexy,”

Listen, I’m no chick…but if I were, I’m pretty sure that Target would be my preferred place to get granny panties. Victoria’s Secret exists because it’s the place to go for sexy unmentionables. It’s also the place to go for dudes who want to stare at some of the greatest photographs ever taken. If they tone it down, what will we look at while our girlfriends shop for underwear? Their promo materials are the only things keeping us sane! Don’t take that away from us!

[AZ Central]