The guys over at cracked.com do a great job at making these humorous top 5 lists.  I was passed along this one by a friend today,  The Top 5 Most Badass Presidents.  I was quite taken back by President Jackson and his take no shit from anyone approach.  The dude was nicknamed “Old Hickory”, because he would carry around an old cane that he would use to beat people with.  Extreme? Yes. True?  Why would you lie about something like that. Don’t believe me, check this story out…

“Andrew Jackson was the first president on whom an assassination attempt was made. A man named Richard Lawrence approached Jackson with two pistols both of which, for some reason, misfired. With the possibility of an assassination taken off the table, Jackson proceeded to beat Lawrence near death with his cane until Jackson’s aides pulled him off the assassin.”

[cracked.com]

Do you find yourself struggling to be cool?  I know I do.  Well it all starts with a bitch’n ass hand shake. Wired.com has conveniently broken down some of the coolest ways to say hello.  Some of them you may remember. (more…)

Want to help out a few average dudes? Then vote for us in the Orlando Weekly’s Best of Orlando 2008 feature! Follow this link and fill out the form. They’ll email you a password to put into the ballot. Make sure you check your junk mail just in case.

Once you’re at the ballot, fill in your email address and the password they gave you. Then start voting! Make sure you fill in “average-dudes.com” for best local blog and best local web site. You have to fill out at least 5 slots, so while you’re at it, fill in “megaphone” (that’s my band) for best Rock/Pop Act and Best Whatever. Megaphone won best rock/pop act last year, so help us keep our crown! You can also fill in “The Matador” (awesome bar in Orlando) for best local pub. If you’re from the Orlando area, vote for other stuff you love. DO IT!

[Orlando Weekly]

You may be asking what the hell is a SPURMO.  It’s a Single Proud UnmarRied Man Over thirty.  Yeah, don’t try to make sense of the acronym, just accept it.  Tad Safran, British writer, discusses about this dying breed of men in a recent article in The Times, a London newpaper. Being old and single is always feared by people but he offers some light at the end of the tunnel.

It is a stage of life to be embraced and encouraged. We can do pretty much whatever we want, whenever we want and can generally afford to do it. More importantly, remember all those beautiful women who wouldn’t give you the time of day when you were in your twenties? If they’re still single, in their mid-thirties, desperation has probably caused their standards to drop low enough for you to stand a serious chance.

It’s a funny read if you have the time, and has a supporting site that helps you further understand SPURMOs.  Here’s a short list of questions to ask yourself to tell if you are one. (more…)

Dyna wrote yesterday about Esquire’s “75 Skills Every Man Should Master” list. I’ve been away for a couple of days so I missed it.

After reading through the list, I have to say, I’m curious who the asshole is that wrote it and if he can do all that stupid crap. After thoroughly testing my abilities against those listed by Esquire, I’ve decided that I am the epitome of manliness.

-Bow tie? Who needs to tie one when you can get a clip-on? It saves time that would be better spent trying to find your missing dress sock.
-While I’m pretty sure the grill is the manliest way to cook meat, I have been known to work wonders with a microwave. It’s called Hungry-Man.
-Chopping down a tree? Chainsaw. Done.

It sounds to me like Esquire compiles their lists much in the same way that the writers for Family Guy develop new stories: (more…)

As a true cultured average dude, I have a subscription to Esquire magazine (I was defaulted it after my FHM subscription was no longer available). This month’s issue has a really good read that makes you ask the question, how manly are you?

Esquire lists seventy-five skills every man should master. Let me tell you; I felt pretty wussy after going through the list. I knew I wasn’t the craftiest or burliest man in the world but I really have a lot of work ahead of me. Here are just a few things all you average dudes should know: (more…)

Nerve and IFC compiled a list of the 50 greatest comedy sketches ever. I glanced at it and noticed that Will Ferrel and Christopher Walken’s famous cowbell sketch was last on the list at number 50. I couldn’t read past that. If you’re more open minded than I am, you can find the full list here.

Maxim Magazine, the most popular publication among dudes 14 to 16, recently compiled a top 5 list of the “unsexiest women alive.” Ranking number 1 and narrowly beating out Amy Winehouse was Ms. Sex and the City herself, Sarah Jessica Parker.

I have to ask myself what the people at Maxim were thinking when they put this list together in the first place. Don’t get me wrong, I love a good top 5 list, but unsexy women? Second, have you seen Amy Winehouse?? She’s the epitome of gross. Even the other women on the list I can agree with: Sandra Oh from Grey’s Anatomy, Madonna, and Britney Spears. I’m not saying I have a huge crush on Sarah J, but up against those other chicks, I really can’t see what was their motivation was.

[MSNBC]

BlogsWeLuv is an awesome site that features blogs and bloggers who basically kick ass. They have a “10 Questions” feature where they ask a blogger 10 questions and let them run wild. Today they posted my answers. Go check it out!

[BlogsWeLuv]

I found this article on Digg and thought it was quite interesting. Rather than just link you to it, I’ve copied the text here (there are a lot more links on the actual page so check it out if you’re interested): (more…)